:::Cat Nap:::

Hercule the cat wakes up at 4:30 am expecting to be fed. I can usually postpone HRH until 5:30. 

As soon as I get out of bed in the morning he hops up and settles in to what is probably the first of many naps of the day. I like to tuck him into the covers because I think it's funny. Oh, Hercule. 

:::A Cry For Help:::

One of my coteachers was making up sentences this morning for an activity.  

I don't know why, but the 'Can I go home' in the middle made me laugh.

:::"O woman, great is thy faith"

In preparation for Easter I'm trying to read the Gospels. I'm only a few chapters into Matthew, but I've already been touched by a simple truth about Jesus's ministry - He was always helping people, and specifically, healing people. In just a few short chapters detailing the beginning of His mortal ministry, Christ took the time to heal people suffering from all manner of afflictions. He asked that these people be brought to Him, He allowed these people to approach Him, and He answered the fervent requests of those who sought Him on behalf of those who needed His healing. 

Never before has the reality of Christ's healing ministry touched me so deeply. Healing the temporal afflictions of His people was clearly a high priority for the Lord, something He cared about, something He placed importance on, and something He undoubtedly enjoyed doing. 

Sometimes when I have a realization moment about Christ I'm just struck by how very good He was. What an awesome, compassionate, in touch Lord we have. 

The relevance this truth has to me is that I am beginning to build stronger faith that one day the Lord will heal my afflictions. He won't just lift my burdens, as that is the promise for mortality. At some future day I will see the Lord, and He will heal me of "every sickness and every disease (Matthew 9:35)." The older I get the more and more I struggle with depression, which I had not anticipated. I have found some peace recently in remembering that depression is a disease, a medical condition, and not an assessment of my character. And just as Jesus healed the man with the withered hand, cast out devils, and made the lame to walk, one day I will be called to Him and with the same love and compassion that He showed the people of ancient times, He will heal me. He will heal me completely, leaving no weakness or affliction behind. 

:::Blooming:::

These flowers are giving me life today....

I arranged them myself, and I'm quite proud. 

:::34:::

In honor of my recent birthday, and for the sake of having something to live for, here's a list of the things I want out of life - 

1. Take a drawing class.

2. Get a keyboard and learn to play the hymns.

3. Move out of the great state of Texas. My original plan was to stay no longer than November 2015, so tick tock.

4. Lose more weight. 

5. Move.

6. Read more books.

I may add to this list later. It's Saturday morning and my mind is a blank. 

:::White Chocolate Pumpkin Dream Cookies:::

I caved and got cable this summer, and I've have been watching cheesy movies on the Hallmark channels ever since. Some of my favorite movies have been the Joanne Fluke mystery adaptations, the lateset being Murder She Baked: A Plum Pudding Mystery. The main character in the story, Hannah Swensen, owns a cookie bakery, so the whole experience of watching is like one big triggering minefield for a baking addict. In the movie Hannah mentions a white chocolate pumpkin dream cookie, so I hit up the Google to find a recipe. This one comes from Taste of Home, and it lived up to it's name by being quite dreamy.

I made mine without frosting because I don't really dig frosted cookies.Plus, I omitted the pecans because...I didn't want to pay for them. Ha, ha! I economize in the weirdest ways.

1 cup butter, softened

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup packed brown sugar

1 egg

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 cup canned pumpkin

2 cups all-purpose flour

3-1/2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 package (10 to 12 ounces) white baking chips (I bought the white chocolate chips with the simplest ingredient list, which ended up being the Private Selections brand from Kroger. I was surprised that some of the fancier brands were filled with a long list of sketch ingredients.)

1 cup chopped pecans (I omitted these)

1. In a large bowl, cream butter and sugars until light and fluffy. Beat in the egg, vanilla and pumpkin. Combine dry ingredients; gradually add to the creamed mixture and mix well. Stir in chips and pecans.

2. Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls 2 in. apart onto ungreased baking sheets. Bake at 350° for 12-14 minutes or until firm. Remove to wire racks to cool.

Yield: About 2 1/2 dozen large cookies

:::Grant Me the Serenity:::

It's finally cooling down here, which means it's consistently in the 70s. Amen. My Christmas decorations are up and this weekend I had my first fire in the fireplace. Come on, Advent. I'm ready.

In an effort to maintain my snail's pace of weight loss, I'm making a list of the holiday foods that I'm most looking forward to eating, and focusing on enjoying the heck out of the somewhat reasonable portions of these that I want to allow myself. An ever present atmosphere of treats and fancies are about to descend upon us, and I want to be ready.

If I'm going to be honest, over indulgence has never helped me enjoy the season more. Oh, it certainly seems like it will as I'm rolling out those sugar cookies, or adding more cream to those mashed potatoes, or grabbing for softball sized handfuls of caramel corn...but the guilt always follows, and guilt is such a messy, depressing emotion. And at the end of any holiday binge I'm not any closer to having a perfect Christmas or feeling more of the Christmas spirit, or whatever it is I'm seeking at the bottom of the bread basket, than I was before. 

So I'm promising myself these treats so that I don't get knocked off track by things I really don't care about, but are just there. Here is my list - 

1. Two pieces of nuts and chews candy from See's 

2. A slice of rich pumpkin pie

3. Creamy mashed potatoes

4. Some kind of spicy gingerbread or ginger snap or ginger cookie

5. A delicious, liberally frosted sugar cookie

6. Two fabulous tasting rolls

That list is actually kind of long, or at least longer that I thought it would be. Blurg. 

Was this post too much about food? Do I sound like an addict? Am I an addict? Sigh...Probably. But I'm an addict with a plan, baby! An addict with a plan!