Tuesday, June 28, 2011

:::My Work Here Is Done:::

I have grown a healthy tomato plant from seed. The end.

Friday, June 10, 2011

:::Veins Like Osama:::

But even he couldn't hide forever.

Another good title for this post would have been 'Winning Hand.'

Zinnias are up...

I'm a little disappointed in them because I thought the heads would be bigger. The stalks are like a foot tall and some of the leaves are almost as big as my hands.

Monday, June 6, 2011

:::Really, I'm fine:::

I had the opportunity to spend today traveling to and from two medical appointments.

That's what I did today. That's sad.

At my first appointment I was supposed to have blood drawn. I told the stand-in NP that I was a hard stick. She chuckled. I bet everyone tells her that. A couple fishing expeditions later I walked out of the office with a band-aid and a rescheduled appointment for this Friday. Use my neck next time! It wouldn't be a first.

Insult to injury -- I had to fast for this appointment. I hate fasting! And yesterday was Fast Sunday! I was generally in a bad mood today. Too much fasting, and headaches due to too much travel.

Fast forward to the post meridian, and I'm on a bus for one earth hour out to Sibley for the second most invasive medical procedure I've ever experienced in my life. After enjoying that fresh hell, I shared a bus stop with three harmless but toffee-nosed tweens -- two girls and a boy -- who spent 20 minutes talking loudly and excessively about jailbreaking their iPhones and how much they loved flip-flops. Then the boy started giving one of the girls the business because she goes to a charter school --

'You might as well go to public school! Ha, ha, ha!'

'We aren't connected to DCPS! We're in charge of ourselves!!!'

Yeah, yeah, CAN IT!

The bus doesn't take me all the way home, so I opted for a cab ride in rush hour traffic instead of barfing on the metro. Headache. Thirty earth minutes, t w o  m i l e s, and $15 later I made it home.

Now I'm sitting in my underwears and watching Curious George on public television. I just ate a tuna sandwich, and now I might wash my hair with vinegar in the dark.

The Man in the Big Yellow Hat is a prancing idiot.