:::1 Mile of Walking + A Bunch of Escalators + Two Trains:::

You don't tell me what I can't do, baby.

:::Have You Eaten Recently?:::

Because my family told me that these pictures almost made them vomit. Got the same reaction on Monday when I showed off my cool new bruise to everyone at work.

This is what happens when bags of potatoes are on sale buy one get one free, and so are bags of onions, and you have to carry all four bags home along with a gallon of milk, some canned goods, a blender, and some other things that you need for a small dinner party the next day.

My best guess is that as the bags started slipping off of my right shoulder, the weight of the groceries puuuuulled and stretched one of my veins until....snap.

*Pop*

:::It's Party Time!:::

Best time ever. I tell you what, when there is dancing on the program, East Coast people (or maybe it's just non-Mormons?) actually get up and dance -- younger, older, couples, singles, those with rhythm and those without. It was awesome. The dance floor drew more and more people as the night went on. Nothing is better than going out on there and letting loose with the music while singing along loudly with the band. We had a crazy good time.

We danced until midnight, then people sort of dissipated to after parties or to pick up their cars from the valet service. My friend Lindsay and I chillaxed in the lobby while she waited for the taxi line to dwindle down, then I went back to my room and watched tv on my giant flat screen until 2 am.

I'm so glad I stayed over. It was totally worth it to be able to get ready at the venue and not worry about being late. It was also nice to have a landing spot to ditch my shoes and other things as the night wore on, and to not think about traveling home (even though I live like 10 minutes away) once the party was over.

This morning I woke up, took a bath in the big tub, ate the chocolate covered strawberries I took from the party last night, cleaned up my gigantic mess, then ordered room service (not good) and watched more tv. It's so nice to have tv every once in a while.

I stayed in my room until 30 minutes before check-out, then I took a cab down Pennsylvania back to the Hill.
On the way home I saw some protesters far away on the Capitol lawn that were a mix of Tea Cuppers and immigration proponents. I wonder how they got along...

As soon as I got back into my room I cleared off my bed and crashed for many hours. I'll probably be up all night, but that's okay because tomorrow I'm catching a 6 am flight to Texas. Yeehaw!

:::Fools Mock:::

When Hawaii went on tsunami watch over the weekend, locals fled to grocery stores in droves to stock up on necessary supplies. One store, so overwhelmed by the onslaught of desperate shoppers, had to put up a sign to inform people that each family would be limited to only two cans of Spam.

In Defense of Spam

You probably make fun of Spam, don't you? Makes you feel all high and mighty, doesn't it? Like you're some kind of food connoisseur or something.

What.ever.

Let me tell you about Spam.

It is delicious.

As a young Marine, my father was stationed on Oahu for a stretch of time. From the Marines he learned that no pain is so great to ever cause the shedding of tears. From the good people of Hawaii he learned about Spam.

If you're ever in a group of Polynesians and you start making fun of Spam, prepare to die. My high school econ teacher made that fatal mistake. He thought we'd all laugh along with him as he made his cruel Spam jokes, but all did not. No, no indeed. Not I, nor the Poly section of our football team.

And now for some perspective.

Do you eat ground beef? Ever? At home? Fast food? J'accuse! I know you do!

The story of ground beef, in it's many journeys from slaughterhouse to factory upon factory upon factory to the point that it ends up in a neat little package at your grocer, or, better yet, in a delicious taco or burger at your favorite fast food joint, is a revolting and stomach turning tale.

Trimmings. Scrapings. Feces (yes, feces!). Ammonia. Filler.

Those 'USDA Prime' or '100% Beef' labels that you find so much solace in mean nothing, niente, nada. Trust moi, I read about this stuff all the time. Plus, my sister saw Food, Inc. and she told me all about it, so, yeah, I know things.

But you're still not convinced, are you?

You're probably saying, 'I don't care, Spam is nasty. Don't you know what's in that stuff?'

Well, not exactly, but I can imagine all the parts on an animal, and you know what?

Mmm.

They taste good.

In Defense of Spam.