Saturday, June 12, 2010

:::Dammit! I Want To Move To Texas!!!:::

I want to move to Texas, but I have no idea how I'm going to make it work.

I would have to:

1. Buy a car (which I really don't want to do)
2. Scrounge together a down payment for a car (Grrr...)
3. Start paying for car insurance (*#%@$!!!)
4. Get rid of half of my crap (I'm actually looking forward to this)
5. Drive to Texas (fun)
6. Pay for motels, gas and food between here and Texas (Not fun! &@*$#!!!)
7. Save enough money to cover bills until I get some kind of job

If I stay, I need to:

1. Find a place to live for the end of August (In an area where I won't get shot/harassed/assaulted)
2. If I get my own place, I kind of need a new job so that I won't be so strapped every month
3. So, I need to get a new job (Yeah, that's not stressful)
4. Pay tons of money for a security deposit
5. Pay tons of money for first month's rent, and every month thereafter
6. Somehow pay to buy bare bones furnishings for an empty apartment
7. Put off my goals for another 2-3 years...

Or, hey, I could just move into a run-of-the-mill shared apartment with other Mormon girls (and want to die every day).

The difficulty is that each option is going to cost inordinate amounts of money.

Honestly, I just don't want to stay. I certainly won't be sad if I have to. I like DC, I have friends here, I love my ward (hopefully I can stay in my ward), and there are a lot of opportunities here. But I still want to move to Texas at some point.

However, if I had to stay, saving more money for a move at a later date wouldn't really be a possibility because I'll be on such a tight budget until I make a big career step to a higher salary level (P.S. -- That's not going to happen anytime soon).

I've been fasting and praying since December, I've been researching like a fiend, I've looked at apartments here, I've talked with my Bishop, I've received blessings, I've asked everyone I know for advice, sigh...I'm at a loss. Never in my life have I not had some idea of what my next step in life would be. This time, I've got absolutely nothing. Niente.








Joie said...

mmm...Add a PayPal "donate" button to your blog. You may find that you have a lot of generous followers.

Or you may find out the opposite.

Sheans said...

I second the PayPal idea.

Also, sometimes you have to make a decision and go for it, and then if it doesn't work out you know it was the wrong decision. If it does, it will work out and you won't have to worry. Notice I used the word "sometimes."

And, you could always move to Delta and live in our spare room. No need for a car. It's a town the size of a pea. You could become a coal miner like half the population here. I know, I know, sounds too good to be true.

Sheans said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jill said...

Cool new banner Rebekah!

Why must life choices be so hard and so expensive?! It seems like there should be some sort of reward just for having the courage to make big life changes in the first place.

Maybe you should look into getting a grant of some kind. Isn't D.C. the home of random grants? Surely there's something that would work for you and provide a cool experience.

I'd donate to your Paypal button, but I fear it wouldn't be a very helpful amount.

Also, you could start a business of commenting on people's blogs. Your comments are often the most witty and insightful ones around, so maybe strangers would pay for the privilege of having you as a regular reader. I count myself lucky to have you as one of mine.

scrambled brains said...

I wanted you to go to Texas too--but, for selfish reasons...i.e. me being Thelma to your Louise :). You WILL get an answer, just keep asking and believing. Pester Him with your persistence.

Sarah said...

I often think that so many of the decisions I struggle over in life are really held back by financial woes. That seems stinky

michelle said...

These are often the most difficult kinds of decisions to make since there may not be a clear right or wrong. This might be one of those cases where you have to make a decision and move ahead and the Lord will let you know if you've made a misstep...