Monday, February 1, 2010

:::So Here's the Deal With November:::

Stick with me, you're patience in this will be rewarded...

I've been thinking about getting an MLS for years

Since I was at BYU


Years pass


I get my current job working in a law library

After my first year, I start making plans to apply to grad school

I join professional organizations and attend conferences and meetings

I sign up for the mentoring program

I go to socials (painful)

I chime in on conversations on my library listserv

I'm really liking this librarian thing!

I pick an MLS program

I start my online application

I ask two people at work to write my letters of recommendation

One of them submits her letter


I can't bring myself to write my application essays

I realize that while I find library work/information systems fascinating, it's not a field that I want to build a career in

I realize that I do not want to work in an office anymore

Or sit in front of a computer my entire life

But I do like environments centered on information and knowledge

I like learning environments

And interacting with people in learning environments

Especially children in learning environments

And not working at a computer

I think back to all of those education classes that I took at UVS- er, UVU after BYU.


I realize, for the millionth time, that secondary ed wasn't right for me

the clouds part

...elementary ed?

I start looking at certification options

I find a grad program

Through USC

Yeah, USC

That I can do here in DC

So I can keep my job ($$)

And stay in my ward

And not move to LA (boo)

So I pray, 'Is this right?'

And the answer comes, 'Apply!'

So I start my application

I am excited!!!

I research the program

I talk to admissions counselors

The early application deadline is in, like, four weeks

Yikes, but I'm so excited!!!

I begin my application

I ask two people to write recommendation letters

I hustle, hustle, hustle

I write my essays

I take days off of work to finish all of my essays

I recruit all of my family to pray for me

I put the lean on the generous souls who are writing my recommendations

One of these souls turns her letter in on time

I turn in my application on time

I put the lean even harder on my third recommender

And more leaning

And more leaning

And more leaning

Are you stinking kidding me?! This is important!

Mooooore leeeeeaniiiiiiing...

I call my admissions counselor

She tells me to recruit a third person to write a recommendation for me


I scramble and find another generous soul to write me a recommendation

That night

Because they want it the next day

As in less than a 24 hour turn around

I talk to my mom, she talks to her friend, I talk to her friend

And back and forth and back and forth

She submits her letter

May her name be forever blessed

My application is finally complete

It's nearly the end of November

I wait to hear back


And wait


I hear something back

I didn't take any math courses in college

You need some math courses in your background to qualify for a multiple subject credential

Have I taken any math classes that just aren't listed?


What about high school?

Yes, I took math in high school

But doesn't 2 1/2 years of Italian count?

The Lord's university thinks so

USC does not think so


I wait...

And wait...







And as I wait I realize that I really, really don't want to live in DC anymore

Or the East Coast

Man, I want to get out of here

Man, I don't want to pay USC tuition (40k!)

Man, I don't want to start an intensive Master's program if I'm going to be moving soon


I don't think I want to do this USC thing after all

It's soo much money


I hear from the program

I got in

I got into USC

I can be a Trojan


My counselor calls me to clarify

My admission is conditional because of the math thing

If I keep my grades above a B during the first semester, I'm in for reals



My mom taught for 20+ years without a credential

She was the best teacher -- according to students, teachers, administrators, and parents -- that the school ever saw

I just want to teach

I don't need a fancy degree

There's got to be an easier way

An easier way that isn't going to cost me $40k upfront

And $35k in interest

$40k in tuition...

$37k in interest...

To teach



I can't do this

I get my acceptance letter in the mail

I admire it

I pray

I say, 'Hey, what's up? I thought this was a green light.'


I know I can't do this

I tell USC, USC, 'thanks, but no thanks'

That's November

Then comes December

In the beginning of the month I pass my two year mark in DC

I think to myself, 'What am I doing with my life?'





Why did I have to go through all the work of applying for that program if I wasn't supposed to enroll in that program?

Why did I have to bother all of those people to write recommendation letters for me if I wasn't going to enroll in that program?

Why did I have to go through all. of. that. stress.?

And now, the embarrassment of telling everyone who knew I was applying that I changed my mind






I decide to move

I'm done living here

I'm done with this job

And I'm done with trying to become a teacher


December ends

It's 2010

My friend LP leaves the firm to finish her Master's

She helped me get my job

She was my sister's roommate for years

She was my friend

It's weird now that she's gone

I just want to leave

My job, this place

To leave, to leave, to leave

I want to leave

I just want to move to Texas

Right now

I know it's the right thing to do


My wounded pride about the teaching thing heals

I start looking at alternative teaching programs in Texas

I find a lot of good options

I apply to one

I send my transcripts

We'll see if they have anything to say about the math issue

If they do, I'll take a math class

No biggie

It'll be ok


I start planning my move

I start feeling really lonely and really sad because I want to be there instead of here

I just want to move to Texas

And be there with my family

And also Bruno

And the wide aisles of Wal-mart

And Super Target

And Taco Bells every mile or so

And decent Mexican food

And open space

And nukular families

So now I'm just waiting for the right time to leave

And to save enough money for a car

And gas money to get there

And to cover my bills until I can find some kind of job

Elizaben is moving in July

I will be gone before then

Hopefully long before then...

But at the right time...

My Patience in This Will Be Rewarded...


Sarah said...

I'm so glad that you're coming here. I don't think you realize how much you mean to me and how much I depend on you. I'll be so very glad to have you near.

emilysuze said...

I'm glad that things are coalescing for you and you've found the path that's right for you.

michelle said...

Wow, you were not messing around with the big November, were you? Wow.

It's hard going through all that stress and uncertainty. In fact, it's the uncertainty that always feels like it's going to kill me.

I admire your patience! And I also believe that you will be rewarded and all will work together for your good.

joanna said...

Hey, I was looking through old emails and found a link to your blog. Yeah!! That's soo cool about you deciding on Texas. I have some family in the Dallas area, and a friend from Utah moved to Austin. Where would you be living?

Jill said...

Good grief woman, no wonder you've been depressed, you've got a quarter-life crisis going on and a lot of big decisions! I'm impressed with you taking action to make these things happen!!

Joie said...

you must of heard I might me coming to DC...just like you to always be one step ahead :)

Joie said...
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