Thank you so much for your feedback on yesterday's post. Here's some of the very helpful advise that people gave me.
In a phone call last night, the mother sounding board encouraged me to write down all the things that I think are my goals, then examine them and be honest about which ones I actually had a strong desire to accomplish, and which ones I thought I was merely duty bound to accomplish.
In a comment, Jill mentioned that perhaps I was struggling to meet my goals because they weren't goals at all, but wishes. That really resonated with me, and reminded me of one of my favorite sayings: 'If wishes and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas.' Wishes are easy come, easy go, but goals take planning, hard work, and a strong footing in reality.
Joie offered some good thoughts about being motivated and staying the course in a realistic way by taking into account the natural ebb and flow of emotions. I have to admit that I tend to frontload my efforts to change or accomplish things with a heavy onslaught of emotions and expectations, and a flurry of spastic activity.
And Michelle's comment let me know that I'm not alone, so I'm certainly not defective in any way. Though I still haven't turned that calendar page!
All of these comments were along the same train of thought, a thought that I can't say would have sunk into my brain on its one.
Tonight I made another list type layout in Scrapbook Factory Deluxe, then jotted down all of my supposed goals. After looking them over, I see so many of the causes for my frustrations with myself and my life. So many of them are just plain ridiculous, while others have good foundations, but I've warped them into unrealistic expectations. Here's a smattering of some of the lighter items that made it onto my list --- Teach the nursery children everything about the gospel. No really, everything.
- Scrapbook/document every instance of my life in an artistic and impressive way
- Be a granola mom
- Master French living (uh, what?!)
- Improve/build homemaking skills (Right now I'm not living in a traditional home where I'm able to really delve into this kind of stuff, so why am I beating myself up about it?)
- Make my own clothes
- Become a stridently aggressive female executive
- Live in New York (I. hate. New. York. Why am I doing this to myself?!)
So many things to scratch off outright. So much free space to create in my brain.
And now, I have to rush off to bed since the 10 p.m. rule is one of those goals that I actually do care about.
4 comments:
Have to do
Want to do
Should do
Will do (someday)
What others want me to do (I think)
How do we survive and flourish in a self imposed environment that puts so much pressure on us?
I believe Elder Ballard gave a talk once addressing simplifying our lives. Sometimes we have to step back from the "big picture" to focus on the little things, the simpler things that become the big picture eventually. And don't forget it's ok if your big picture makes a course adjustment once in awhile.
sweet! I made it into one of your postings--now I can check that off of my list of life goals.
This is awesome, Rebekah! I'm so glad you were able to step back and evaluate your goals. And I'm dying over some of them! Maybe I should try this exercise myself. What would we do without the mother sounding boards?
Wow, these are some serious goals! Mine are nowhere near as specific or daunting. Perhaps I should have a meeting with myself and come up with some better stuff.
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